Friday, you were excited for the weekend and then you cursed yourself for having those pesky CNN updates automatically pop up and showing you the news about Philando Castile’s murderer going free.
Here we are Monday. Back at work and every time Susie, your coworker, wants to talk about their peaceful weekend getaway, you’re hoping that they can read a room and leave you alone. You’re barely pulling it together because taking a sick day for you is not an option. That very important meeting that HAS to happen today is, well, today. You feel trapped in a conversation about some kayaking adventure Susie loved and you find a way to gracefully excuse yourself. You think you’ve found time to gather your thoughts, compartmentalize the horror that is being black in America to focus on your job and then here comes your boss asking if that presentation is still going to be done at 11AM sharp.
I’m here with you girl. It’s tough. I didn’t know that the second time I wrote to you, it would be about a murderer going free. Take 10 minutes for yourself. Take 20. Hell, open the company fridge and eat all the snacks marked “Susie.”
You ever go to the bathroom with multiple stalls to cry while you’re at work? You’re standing there, you know, crying, and then the door creaks open. Dammit. They enter the stall next to you and you realize you’ve been standing up and facing the toilet the whole time. Not that anything is wrong with standing up to pee but maybe they won’t notice. Then you try to time out a flush perfectly so it will cover up the noise you make when you have to blow your nose. Guh, I get it.
We are going to get through this week. We always do. We always find a way to hide the fears and trauma to show up at work and be excellent at our jobs.
Ok let’s take a quick break. I found these funny black twitter moments and I cracked up so hopefully, you’ll chuckle. Seeing a happy black woman confuses some people, so don’t be surprised if someone comes by and finally ask “are you ok?” which is really code for, “I didn’t tell a joke so you shouldn’t be laughing, get back to work.”
And while you’re sitting at work scrolling through all of your friend’s online cries of anguish wishing you could break something while your company pretends like the nation isn’t going up in flames, I hope you know that you are not alone.
We’ll get through this week like we always do. Just remember: Beyonce may or may not have had her twins. Which sources do you trust?
Lisa Beasley is a Creative Director and entrepreneur from Gary, IN. After graduating from The LeMoyne-Owen College in Memphis, TN with a B.A. in Music, Lisa studied theatre in Los Angeles and launched her graphic design business. After working in the Chicago theatre community for 7 years, Lisa continues to produce content and create experiences for audiences in Chicago. She is passionate about providing systems of support to sustain marginalized voices in the creative community.